Can grief make you tired?

Grief is often called a process, and it is. Losing a relationship, a job, or a loved one can result in the experience we call grief. Loss can have a profound impact on both the mind and body. We most often associate grieving with a set of emotions like sadness, but it is also a physical process. When we are experiencing loss, our brains are likely to perceive the loss as a threat.

The threat may be to our identity, such as when losing a partner. Without our status as spouses or caretakers, we may feel lost and threatened. Without a needed job, we may feel our very means of living are threatened. Our brains are designed to detect threats so that we can respond and survive. The brain responds in the same way to a loss. A threat is detected, and the fight or flight system activates.

This results in a flood of hormones and neurotransmitters designed to prepare our bodies to fend off a perceived threat by fighting, fainting, freezing, or fleeing. With grief and loss, these means of self-preservation aren’t necessarily helpful, though. We can neither fight nor flee from a loss. Grief also uniquely comes and goes, often being described as coming in waves. This means that our fight or flight response may kick on and off with each crash of a wave and its recession. In this way, we are constantly entering the stress response cycle.

Our fight or flight system results in a series of physical changes in the body, leaving us feeling tired, exhausted, and fatigued. Feeling tired may make it difficult to stay awake, and our sleep cycles may become disturbed, ultimately resulting in additional fatigue or exhaustion. Fatigue and tiredness are also symptoms of depression, which can be a complication of the grieving process. It’s important to talk to your doctor or a licensed mental health professional if you notice tiredness that doesn’t seem to go away or if it is accompanied by feelings of hopelessness or thoughts of suicide or self-harm.

If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, visit your local emergency room, or contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-272-8255.