Hi. I am feeling very negative and hopeless in life

Hi,

Thanks for reaching out!  I'm sorry you are going through a tough time but am hopeful that you can get some things in place to help you into the right direction.

Sometimes when there is a significant loss in life, particularly that of a parent, that type of grief can have a deep impact on all other aspects of life, including other interpersonal relationships.  The thing with grief as well, as a person navigates through the grieving process, there is no timetable, it isn't linear, and you can "revisit" a stage of the grief cycle at any point after a person's loss.  The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Some people never fully get to that acceptance point, and if they do, they don't stay there, and that's okay, but sometimes those people need some additional support as well.  Sometimes people fall into what is called complicated grief, which pretty much means that you are so impacted by the loss of your loved one that you have difficulty resuming other parts of your life.  This may be the case of finding difficulty seeing possibility or hope in your current or future relationships.  Feeling hopeless in any area of life is not something you want to be experiencing, particularly if you are feeling burdened by it or like you can't get out of it.

Speaking to a therapist, either in person or virtually, maybe one that specializes in grief to start with, may really help you work through some issues you are experiencing with your grief and help you find ways to find hope in your future again.  They can also help you identify and prioritize what is important to you in a partner and why, and maybe help you get more of a sense of hope in that aspect as well.  It is important to address how you are feeling now, before you get into a deeper place of depression and it is harder to work out of. 

Best of luck to you, and please feel free to reach out if you need anything more in the future!