How can I heal from a miscarriage?

First, I am so sorry to hear that you and your husband experienced the loss of your pregnancy.  I can imagine that you are feeling more sadness than you thought possible and this has been a difficult experience for you.  I hope you take comfort in knowing that this is not your fault and there was nothing that you did to cause your miscarriage.  It is normal to feel all the emotions that you described along with numbness, guilt, failure or vulnerability.

 

Healing can take time but it is possible and with help, you will be able to find your happiness again. The grieving process has several different stages and you may jump back and forth between all the stages- denial, anger, bargaining, depression to the final stage- acceptance.  There is no exact time frame so give yourself time to heal and process this experience.  Allow yourself to deal with your grief as it comes.

 

Try not to isolate yourself from others. Talk to your partner, trusted friends/family, spiritual leader or counselor about what you are feeling and allow them to support you.  You may be surprised to know how many other women have experienced the same but never talked about it with you.  But if you don't want to talk about it at all, that is okay too.  Writing out your feelings can also help.  Journaling is a great way to explore your feelings in private.

 

Some women find comfort in honoring their baby through a ritual or event as a loving way to incorporate your baby into your life as you move forward.  Some examples are planting a tree, naming your baby, selecting a piece of jewelry with a birthstone, donating to a charity or even having a commemorative dinner.  Choose whichever feels comfortable for you. 

 

But the most important thing to do as you are healing is to self-care. Make sure that you are treating your body kindly.  Your body is recovering from the hormonal and physical changes of pregnancy while you are grieving.  Be sure that you are getting adequate rest, drinking water, and eating nutritious foods. 

 

I would be my honor to work with you and help you process your emotions. 

All my very best to you and your husband.

 

Akemi