How do i know if a recent connection is truly valid and not a connection out of grief?

I recently lost my mama and i also started talking to this guy i’ve known almost my whole life. he also helped me cope with the loss and he helped me keep my cool with my difficult family. how will i know if the connection is a real one or if i am acting on grief?
Asked by Patty
Answered
11/13/2022

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out for support at this sad time. Firstly I would like to say that I am sorry for your loss. It's hard losing a parent at any age, even if the passing was an expected loss.  Grief often can leave us feeling lost and isolated and overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts.  It is though, perfectly normal to feel unsure and to also experience a whole raft of conflicting and confusing emotions when you are grieving a loved one's passing.  Our grieving process is unique to each of us and with every loss that we have. Not all of us will cry or feel sad, we often can feel numb or in shock especially at the beginning of our process of grieving.  Just because others around you or you are not crying does not mean that they are feeling the loss any less.

If this person is someone you have known some time and feel that you are able to trust them, then there is already a connection with them from the past, and this may mean that you already have a level of trust and also a bond with them of some sort.  What is it about this person that you are attracted to? 

When we are at our most vulnerable, we look to gravitate towards those we trust the most.  This is usually family and friends and it seems that you have a safe and comforting relationship with this person.  However as there has already been a major change in your life with the passing of your parent, it may be beneficial to holding off making any big decisions in regards to your own life at this moment in time. 

Try to take each day at a time and take as much time as you need to take to mourn the loss of your parent to work through the emotions and feelings associated with the loss, with the support and care from this person.

Hope that this has helped you to gain some understanding of grief and loss and to also clarify your problem.

Kind regards

Louise

(Diploma, in, Counselling, (Integrative), Diploma, in, Hypnotherapy, Counsellor)