How do I move on from my ex?

I am really pleased that you reached out for help.

You have been going through a difficult time and have many of the same signs as someone going through grief from other kinds of loss. You are experiencing a phase of this that feels like depression. A good therapist can help you move through these stages in order to rediscover a sense of purpose and joy you once knew. It was unfortunate that she returned for that short period. You were establishing some independence from her and were beginning to adjust. Instead she left you again and went with someone else. This seems hurtful and unfair. The good thing I heard you say was that you opened up to your family. They helped you realize that you needed support and maybe believed that you could get out of this depressed state. A therapist will help you take a look at the things you are telling yourself about this experience. And the therapist could help you to begin a process of taking steps to move through the stages of grief to connect to the essential self that you knew  before this. Becoming attached to someone and then losing them is such a difficult thing to cope with.

• The first stage of grief as applied to a break up is denial. In this phase, our heart, rather than our head, rules our belief system as we try to adjust to the idea of life without the person we're losing. Even though we know the relationship is over, we really don't believe it. Against our better judgment of everyone around us, we can't but entertain fantasies of things somehow working out. We see hidden glimmers of hope buried in clear indications that it's over. 
• The next phase is anger, which can manifest in many different ways, anger at the ex-, anger at God or the universe, anger at other people. It is during this phase that we may do or say things we will regret. 
• The next stage is bargaining, which is much like denial. It is looking at any possible way to make the relationship work through negotiation, threats, and/or magical thinking.  Like if you are good enough, you can make it work, go to therapy or do something to change things. During this phase you may also try to get others to help convince the partner to accept you back.
• The next stage is called depression. Like anger, it surfaces in many different forms, such as feeling tired all the time, not wanting to do anything but lay in bed, feeling disconnected from people even when you're with them, being on the verge of tears all the time, hopelessness. Hopelessness is the most pervasive and debilitating. It makes you feel like things will never be different, that nothing will work out. 
• Finally, acceptance is the phase in which we are able to make peace with the loss. It doesn't always come suddenly; it often happens gradually, bit by little bit, interspersed with some of the other phases. It doesn't always involve harmony and flowers and has some lingering sadness. It entails making peace with the loss, letting go of the relationship, and slowly moving forward with you life. It feels at times that this phase will never come. You may still be struggling with an earlier phase. But, you will surely reach it with time and persistence.

A counselor will be able to help you identify and work through these stages. I am hoping that you continue to reach out. Knowing your phases of grief can help normalize your break-up experience. It’s also important to know that there are no time limits and no rushing the process. Grieving is like digestion: There is nothing you can do to hurry it along. It takes time and the only thing you can do is try to get through it. But take heart in the fact that this, like everything else, will eventually pass.