How to cope with grief of losing dear one unexpectedly?

Hi Jiju,

Let me first say how sorry I am for your loss. Losing a loved one is the hardest thing,  especially when it is a parent and even more so when they were otherwise healthy and have died unexpectedly. My heart goes out for you and your mom and brother.  

Grieving is a very personal thing and a journey that is unique for every person. There is grieving that will occur with you as a family and then grieving that will be your own with the personal experiences you had with your father.  When someone close to us dies unexpectedly there is a shock dimension also that has its own level of emotion and effect on our systems. 

Grieving is about love and caring. I like the words of grief expert, David Kessler, who says, "Death does not have the power to end our relationship with our loved ones."   I agree with this as our parents and other loved ones live on through us.  I would highly recommend two resources available. One is through a website called, Commune. There is a free 5-day presentation by David Kessler called, "help for the hurting heart".  There is another recent video put out by Kessler named  'when a parent dies". You can find this at, https://www.davidkesslertraining.com/when-a-aprent-dies-dk.

The early days of dealing with the loss can be some of the hardest as this is a time of pure grief and "free fall" when things at times just don't feel real.. like a dream... It's important for you to know and have the support to know that this will change and although we never really stop grieving the loss of a loved one... the saying "time heals all wounds" does have some truth to it. 

I really like what Kessler says when he says that death does not have the power to end our relationship with a  loved one.  They live on through our memories of them. Through the things they said and did, through the ways they were and their personalities and quirks. 

It is important that you and your family take the time you need to grieve the loss of your father. Kessler refers to grief as a very organic thing. That we don't have to direct the grief... the grief is like a river that will take us where we need to go. 

It is important to not do grief alone also. Reaching out with your question and or having a counselor to talk to and work things through can be very helpful and supportive. It speaks to a strength in you that you reached out here.  There are no easy or magic answers or solutions to dealing with the loss of a loved one. However, keeping them alive in our hearts and finding the support to help get through can help ease the burden. 

Warm regards to you and your family

Dave