I need a way to find peace with my Mama's illness and no cure.

Thank you for telling your story and asking these hard questions.  I am sorry to hear about what you are going through with your mother.  Sounds like such a special bond the two of you have. What do the two of you do when spending time together? Are you able to reminisce on past memories while creating current memories? 

Anticipatory grief is complicated and not easy. The loss of a loved one, especially a parent is painful.  How do we prepare for grief like this?  Recognizing and feeling our emotions rather than burying them is an important step.  Grief will present as inability to concentrate, anger, frustration, feeling numb and distanced, anxiety, sadness, longing for a different outcome or things to be the way they were before.  Validate these feelings by letting yourself experience them rather than suppressing them.  Know that it is ok to grieve the way you grieve.  Nobody can tell you how to grieve.  Show yourself and others grace during this very hard time.  You are doing the best you can.  Know that distractions are ok, and welcome them when you need a break or space from grieving.  Let others be there and help you.  Nobody can be strong all the time.  

Rather than wait to celebrate the life of our loved one, we can honor their memory with them while they are here with us.  We can create memory books, write down family recipes, document favorite stories and memories, record audio and video tributes.  

Talking about it can help us process the grief and loss.  It's important to surround yourself with supports, like family, friends, and the church.  Many people find it helpful to express their thoughts and feelings during this difficult time with others going through a similar experience.  For example, a medical illness support group or caregiver support group can be comforting and helpful.  These groups can be attended physically and/or virtually.

To take care of others, we have to first take care of ourselves.  We can restore and strengthen our mind and body by taking breaks, listening to music, going for walks, sitting in the sun, journaling, and engaging in mindfulness.

Find a safe space to talk with a mental health professional to guide you through the grieving process.