What does grief mean?

Grief is how we react to a loss in our lives. Grief is the feeling of distress, extreme sadness and is usually a component of many mental disorders like depression. It is painful and is considered trauma in life. Many people assume that grief only accounts for the death of a loved one. However, we can grieve over any loss in our lives, such as losing a relationship, a pet, a job, and even the loss of a bodily function like paralysis. In other term, grieving is the process of coping with the loss. Contrary to popular belief, grief is a good thing and is relatively healthy. The five stages of grief eventually lead to coming to terms with the loss. 

5 STAGES OF GRIEF 

Denial: Denial is the first stage because the loss is hard to believe, let alone accept. We are in a state of shock and will not allow ourselves to see the world in its new reality. This stage helps us from being too overwhelmed by the change in our lives and gradually come to the truth. Slowly, we start questioning how life will be after the loss, which is a sign of moving out of denial. As we figure out the answers to our questions, we start feeling lots of emotion, namely anger. 

Anger: This is an overly emotional stage, mainly because anger is made up of many different feelings, and it looks different for everyone. Even though anger has a reputation as a destructive emotion, we have to feel anger. We wonder why did it have to happen and why did it happen to me. Unfortunately, our anger is usually directed at all the wrong people and things because we can’t blame or argue with what we are really mad at, whatever we lost. As we calm, we try to find ways to make things ok again and start bargaining. 

Bargaining: The bargaining stage is full of desperation and feeling helpless, so we call on help from anywhere. We live in a state of mind of “what if” and “if only” thoughts and beliefs. Many of us plead and make deals with God or any higher power that can change the past. This is our last attempt to avoid feeling all the pain and feeling depressed. 

Depression: Depression is a quiet stage where we are very in tuned with our sadness and pain. This is the most overwhelming stage where it feels as though we have no control over ourselves and live in a fog. However, we are so close to accepting the loss and putting our lives back together. 

Acceptance: This is not a happy ending to the stages of grief, but it is the start of moving forward with our lives despite the loss. This stage can be scary since what is to come is unknown and very different than before. Acceptance allows us to see that everything will be ok again, someday.