What steps can I take to manage all the change that is happening in my family's life?

It sounds like you are going through a lot of life transitions in your life right now. I can imagine that's a lot to process and navigate. It sounds like you have also experienced two losses on top of dealing with two other very big things in your life-your kids and your family's health concerns. And that's a lot for anybody to navigate in their life. It is important to acknowledge this and also a good time to turn to folks in your support system during as things may feel quite stressful. Sometimes people may not feel like they can turn to others and that alone can feel extra isolating.

Ending a relationship and a job are two very big changes. I can imagine you are experiencing a lot of emotions and processing quite a bit. And depending on how these two things came to an end, it can definitely impact how you feel right now. Many people experience grief after going through big events like you have experienced. These stages consist of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages take some time to process and experience, but being aware of them can help you process these situations. And there may be days that you may experience sadness, then anger the next, then denial, and then sadness again and so forth. It may feel like repressing it is what's best as we want to move on with our lives, but unfortunately it is not that easy. Giving yourself the time to heal from the loss is helpful and can allow you to let go of the intense emotions associated with it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The important thing is that you allow yourself to feel and process in your own way.

Being a parent can be quite stressful at times and having support can be helpful in giving you a break. It can be extra hard when there is not enough support from the children's second parent or other supportive parental figures in the child's life. It can be helpful to identify what specifically for you feels most stressful when you think about parenting? Are there tasks that you can delegate through someone in your support system or childcare resource? There are also really great parenting support groups out there that are meant to provide support to each other. It may be worthwhile considering especially if your support system is limited. It is important that as a parent that you take care of yourself so that you can be there for your children as your best self. By feeling good yourself, you will be more present and available for your children.

In terms of family health concerns, that is a tough one. Given that there are so many different types of diagnoses, this can make it extra stressful. Some are curable, some are manageable, and some are life long. So getting information from the medical professionals can help you and your loves ones best navigate these situations can be most helpful for the person experiencing these symptoms. And reminding yourself that there is only so much of you to go around. You can definitely support your loved ones who are experiencing health concerns, but you also have your own stuff that you are trying to cope with (losses and parenting). So it is important that you keep boundaries and delegating to others who can help as well.  Being a caregiver for people who are ill can be very demanding so dividing responsibilities can help lighten the load for all of you.

There are really great self-help books that discuss losses, such as break-ups and employment, such as:

Break-Ups

1) The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

2) The Slight Edge by Joe Olson 

3) The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz 

Job Loss

1) Losing Your Job-Reclaiming Your Soul by Mary Lynn Pulley

2) Keeping Your Head After Losing Your Job by Robery L. Leahy 

If you feel like you need additional support, you are also welcome to look into starting your own therapy to get some guidance on how to navigate it. Best of luck to you on your journey to heal.