what types of grief are complex?

No matter the circumstances, grief is not an easy emotion to cope with.  As humans, most of us fear the prospect of experiencing loss and, thus, feeling grief.  However, in some cases, this grief can be complicated or made complex by several different factors.  There is definitely a difference between those experiencing an “expected” or “typical” grief and those experiencing a form of complex grief or a perpetual state of bereavement.  The two factors that one would typically use to gauge this are 1. How long has the person been in a perpetual state of bereavement? And 2. Does their grief cause them to neglect daily tasks or keep them from functioning?  This might present itself as somebody who seems frozen in time ever since the loss occurred with no indication or sign that they will be moving forward with life.

So, that leaves the question, what kind of losses can cause this kind of reaction?  This depends on both the person and the context of the loss.  If the person is experiencing other co-occurring risk factors prior to the loss, such as trauma, attachment issues, or other mental health concerns, then the loss might affect them differently.  The context of loss or the source of the grief is also important because sometimes this can interact with a person’s history and create a “perfect storm” for complex grief.

One form of grief, referred to as disenfranchised grief, can be one of these “contexts” that can create complex grief. Disenfranchised grief refers to when a loss occurs, and society has deemed the process of experiencing that grief as “unacceptable.”  Oftentimes, society will downplay these instances of grief, leading to invalidation and disruption within the healing process.  An example of this might be the loss of a relationship that was not readily accepted by others, such as an LGBTQ relationship.  If someone is already struggling with different risk factors and then experiences the loss of a significant relationship that was never validated to begin with, this can be terrible to endure.  Add the process of having to grieve in secret, which could be the setup for someone to experience complex grief.

However, disenfranchised grief is not the only grief that can be complex.  Significant losses can prompt this, as well.  Some of these include losing a child, ending a decades-long friendship, a parent abandoning their child, and many more.  Furthermore, if the loss is unexpected and unforeseen, it can be harder for loved ones to heal and move past the bereavement stage.

All losses are hard to deal with, and likewise, grief is a difficult emotion.  There are cases where people experience grief at such an intense level that it begins to affect their ability even to function or perform basic daily tasks.