Why do I feel lonely from time to time..

Dear Dickie,  

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this.  The end of a relationship is very hard for most people.  Be compassionate and gracious with yourself.  This will not be forever, nothing lasts forever, even this moment.  During this time when you feel this way, it is important to focus on some basic things including sleep, eating, and moving your body.  These three things make up your vulnerability factors.  If any of these things are not well, you will feel stress more intensely and it will last longer.  Are you having a hard time sleeping or sleeping too much?  If you are having a hard time sleeping, then paying attention to a regular night time routine will help.  Stay away from screen time before bed.  Do some sleep meditations which can be found on youtube.  How is your appetite?  Are you  skipping meals or eating too many unhealthy options.  Make sure you are eating regularly and in moderation and be sure to incorporate foods that will make your body feel good. Do you exercise?  Exercise is the quickest way to improve mood.  It naturally increases serotonin levels in the brain.  If you are not a fan of exercise, then take some short walks, but you must move your body every day.  Mind and body are very connected.  In order to take care of your mind, your body must be well and vice versa.  

The next thing I would suggest is that you practice mindfulness.  Mindfulness is the experience of the present moment without holding on to the moment or without judgment.  An easy way to practice mindfulness is just by using your senses.  While you are walking, just bring all your focus and concentration to that moment.  Make observations about what you see and hear.  You can do this with any activity, just pay attention.  When you are eating just pay full attention to your food,  Notice the smell, the sight, the feel as you are chewing.  When you are taking a shower, pay attention to the water temperature, the smell, the sounds.  This will train your brain to focus on the small joys that are always there in life.  If you notice some thoughts of the past coming up, then just notice it and let it go, intentionally turning your mind to what you are doing in that moment.  Do this repeatedly. 

I hope this helps.