Will grief never go away?

What is grief?

Grief unfortunately is a part of life that will affect us all to some degree in our lives.  We cannot run away from it or hide from it.  Grief can happen after a loss of a loved one, the loss of a relationship, or even getting fired from a job. When we grieve, we mourn for the loss or change of the situation that was.  Grief is a very personal experience with a unique experience for everyone.  No two people grieve the same.

How long will it last?

Helen Keller once said, “What we once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, For all that we love deeply becomes a part of us”.  This quote illustrates the idea that grief never completely goes away.  The loss of an individual in our lives is something that many of us will carry with throughout our lives.  It may not feel as big as it did in the days or months after the loss, but to some degree it will live inside ourselves with memories and thoughts of the departed.  As far as other things we grieve, the memories may fade over time.

Will it ever go away?

There is a good analogy that was shared on Twitter 2017 by Lauren Herschel whose doctor told her about the ball in the box and how it relates to grief.  So, imagine a ball in a box.  The ball represents grief.  The box has a button at the bottom of it and when the ball hits the button a grief response happens whether it is sadness or anger or even a memory of the loved one.  The box and button will remain the same size over time, but the ball will eventually get smaller.  So, in the days following a loss, the ball is almost as large as the box and most everything causes the ball to hit the button.  Over time the ball gets smaller and smaller but there is always the possibility of the ball, even when it is small to hit the button.  Of course, this is not true for some losses like getting fired from a job or even maybe a breakup, after time for many these things do fade but the memories are still there, they just don’t feel as fresh and sensitive as they did in the past.  So, it really does depend on the type of situation you are grieving and like I mentioned above it is a unique experience for each of us and there is no timetable for your grief.