Will I ever stop crying from grief?

Grieving is a unique process for each person and for many, crying is a large part of the grieving process. There is no one way to grieve but crying is cathartic. It allows the body to “release stress hormones including cortisol which can build up in our bodies and cause physical and emotional stress.” Crying also “stimulates the production of endorphins, our body’s natural pain killer which triggers a positive feeling.” Crying, depending on how long it lasts, can produce feelings of exhaustion at first then lightness and even euphoria. When someone says, “You need to have a good cry,” this is what they are talking about which is this release and balancing of hormones and stress. But what if the crying doesn’t really stop? It is a common and valid concern if crying gets to the point of being uncontrollable and constant.

Ways to distinguish grief tears from depression and trauma tears.

Depending on what culture, ethnicity, and religious background a person comes from, tears and grieving has a place there and for some many days on end. The occasional cry and tearfulness that comes with anniversaries and memories is a healthy and expected cry. It is also expected to cry more when your body is ready to, which is why many people cry long after the loss and arrangements that comes with that, sometimes for months off and on. But what if the tears are keeping you from continuing the everyday healthy parts of life like self-care, work, school, exercise, socialization, hobbies, home-keeping, and engagements with pets and other comforts? This might be a time to speak with a professional to decide if your grieving has become debilitating as in a situation of depression or traumatic response. Some people are not alarmed by even daily tears especially in grieving, but the difference is they are still engaging in their daily behaviors to some extent.

Self-love and acceptance

Sometimes all it takes is being patient with yourself and allowing your grief to process. Having an endpoint to grief is a hard call but time does indeed create a space between the loss and you making some of the pain manageable. Many clients will set small daily goals and do lots of things that bring them comfort to ease their pain and their tears from going on too long. This self-parenting can be a healing action towards tears lessening.