What can I do to stop feeling guilty for everything, even when I know its not my fault?

I dont know why but I feel guilty for basically everything that happens in my life, so I never reach out to anyone in fear that I'm bothering them....
Asked by vv1996
Answered
12/05/2021

In my experience, this often is related to shame and guilt developed by your major support systems, like your family, when you were a child. This feeling also leads to this idea that you must not make any mistakes and be perfect in everything you do, say, think and feel. It is when you give yourself credit for all that you are and all that you have accomplished and endured that you no longer accept guilt and shame. You are enough, even with your flaws and mistakes and errors. Self-compassion, self-preservation and self-love leads you to know that you do not have control over what happens in much  of  life. That you do your best and more importantly, you love everything about you. When you feel this guilt, do something comforting for yourself like go for a walk, take a bath, close your eyes and hug yourself. There is a technique called "Tapping" and a great, loving "tapping" is called "Butterfly Tapping." Butterfly Tapping involves putting your hands on your chest and alternatively tapping your fingers against your chest - like the fluttering of butterfly wings- while saying to yourself that you are loved, you are enough, and you are safe. You may want to close your eyes while doing this if closing your eyes feels comfortable. So much of living is loving yourself. Another technique that helps is art therapy , whether it is writing, journaling, drawing, painting. Another is meditative practice, Imagining brightness, lightness, and warmth coming into you as you breathe in beauty and loudly exhale pain and hurt. There are also books about Self-Love and my  favorites are the workbooks as you can journey through your reading and learning. Surround yourself with comforting, beautiful objects and let them nourish your soul while you embrace self-nourishment. Surround yourself with supportive people who embrace and fill you with comfort, safety, and compassion.  If you cannot readily find people who are able to give you grace and compassion, spend time with pets, animals and young children who only know how to  love. I wish you joy in your self- compassion journey. Be gentle to yourself. You are so important!