Why Does Guilt Occur?

When we conclude or believe that we have done something that goes against or compromises our own moral standards and feels that our conduct has violated some human or universal standard and sense a strong responsibility for the violation, we experience the emotion known as guilt.

Although this may seem straightforward and basic, rarely is guilt simple.  We may feel guilty when we fall out of love with someone we once fell in love with.  Or if we work too hard and feel as if we don’t spend enough quality time with the people we love. Or we might feel guilty on the complete opposite end of that spectrum and feel guilty for not working enough and not making enough money to buy those we love the things that they ask for.

We can dip into our pasts and bring up feelings of guilt from our childhood, maybe when we allowed ourselves to stand by silently and witness someone bullying someone else. Or we can feel guilty because we are successful and financially stable when our other family members are not as fortunate and successful. And quite often, other people throw guilt our way, either through direct intention or not. When we fall prey to expectations, a very common human occurrence, guilt usually results somewhere directed at ourselves or someone else.

And blame is very closely connected to guilt because most of us try our best to get rid of the guilt we feel as it is anything but pleasant. We think or say things like, ‘It's not my fault, it’s hers or his.” We do this much of the time because we don’t want to feel as bad as we do when we guilt us.

As long as we can ‘manage’ our sense of guilt, even when we assume it as a consequence of not living up to our own expectations and not having it bleed into shame, we can actually benefit from this emotion rather than suffer at its hands.

Sigmond Freud and Carl Jung saw a connection to maturity and growth in our personal development and experiencing guilt, which indicates personal self-responsibility and a desire to try and rectify our wrongdoing. It also can serve as proof that we are entire human beings, neither flawless nor unworthy of love.