why guilt happens?

        The experience of guilt can occur for many reasons. Oftentimes I get asked, “why do I feel guilty about X, Y, or Z.” In my experience, guilt happens when an individual, for some reason or another, thinks and or feels responsible enough for a negative outcome. The negative outcome may be related to something they did or did not do to or with an individual or an outcome that negatively influences a group or organization. Guilt can also happen with oneself should the,y for example, perceive themselves to have “failed” or not lived up to their standards or some other form of limitation.

        Guilt happens due to how we have defined or perceived a situation and “calculated” the impact of their perceived role or responsibility. Often, I will hear clients tell their rationale for having guilt and it is said in a way that is so well rationalized that it's easy to know how they ended up with their guilt. However, hearing their rationale also reflects its skewed perspective as guilt somewhat exists as a means to “live in the consequence” of your wrong. In other words, it can become castigating, and this is not helpful. So, we can acknowledge how an individual’s rationale also reflects irrational perspectives; of course, this is not always but can occur quite often.

        Another reason guilt happens is due to an “initial” assessment of the situation that led to the guilt. One often wonders, “what do I have to do with this? “Did I cause this to happen?” “could I have done more?” and this question is a way for the individual to evaluate not only the situation but along the way the appropriateness of their guilt. At times this may require the help of a professional to assist the client through the process so they may appropriately reframe the experience. So, guilt can happen as an initial response to a negative situation. We may have had a role in; however, guilt may be a necessary experience to properly evaluate it and learn to work through it when we have an actual direct role in the event or situation that led to the guilt.