How can I get my motivation back while I have anxiety?

I want to start so many things, change things in my life, get a new job, start working out, lead a better life but the anxiety keeps me in place. I am always afraid even to leave the house to go shopping on my own. I feel like I am stuck and I can’t do anything to move forward or make a positive change. I really want to change something, I have an idea what my life should look like and I start doing things towards that life and then the low days hit and I am set behind. I am frustrated because of it and often I take my frustration out by being angry and awful with my loved ones. That makes me feel even worse about myself. It's like a vicious circle and I don’t know how to stop it.
Thank you for your answer.
Asked by Egreta
Answered
10/17/2022

Anxiety can often times be incredibly overwhelming with its impact on our personal lives, motivation and personal development. It is easy to feel like you are in a never ending cycle that can often lead to frustrations, disappointment and damaged views of yourself. "Why can't I seem to manage the small things?", "Why can't I just make these changes to help my life?", "Why do I always seem to fail at these things?" Oftentimes, it can feel like that little voice in your head that tells you that you are not good enough, or you will fail anyway so why try. It doesn't ever take a day off. 

When it comes to managing and maintaining motivation while also managing anxiety, there are a few things to keep in mind. First and foremost, allow yourself grace and room to breathe. You are human, and in being human, not every day is going to go exactly as expected. It's about progress, not perfection. It's okay to have bad days. It's ok to have days where you didn't make the home cooked meal, you left dishes in the sink, you didn't make it to the gym. It's ok to be human. That does not erase all of the progress that you have made all of the other days. It's about recognizing that you can have a bad day, but not unpacking and living there. 

Second, it's important to remember that Rome was not built in a day. Often times, we see all of the big life changes that we want or feel we should make, and we allow our anxiety to tell us we have to change all of these things at once. When, inevitably, we can not sustain all of the changes. Our anxiety and that voice in our head tells us that we have somehow failed, and we jump right back in the cycle. Building different habits takes time, change takes time. Much like when we are little, we must learn to hold our head up, roll over, sit up, crawl and stand all before we can learn to walk, changing our habits in our lives is very similar: we must build strong foundational skills and build from there. What this looks like in application is to makes one or two small changes at a time, allowing those changes to become habits in our routine, and then building with additional new changes. Sometimes when we look at everything that needs to be changed, it is incredibly overwhelming, but by breaking it down into smaller, more manageable steps, it feels attainable. 

Lastly, it is important to remember once again to give yourself grace through this process. While no one likes not being our best selves to the people we love the most, oftentimes the world gets the best of us and our loved ones get whats left of us. It's important to remember that you can not pour from an empty cup. Self-care and self-love, especially on the days the you feel that you may not deserve it, is incredibly vital to refilling your own cup. Take the time that you need to refill your cup, allow grace for yourself through this process, and remember that it is truly about progress, not perfection.