How do I discover my passion and make a career in it?

Hi Mary,

How Can We Discover Our Passion?

Finding our passion is sometimes a matter of auditing where we are in life, especially when we have received a lot of negative feedback at our inability to fit into a role which doesn't really suit us. 

Gillian Lynne, the co-creator of Phantom of the Opera and Cats, was taken to a psychiatrist as a child because she couldn't sit still in class and her parents just wanted her to be able to do basic tasks at school. It wasn't until she was taken to a dance class that she was able to succeed both in life and at daily tasks.

Finding your element, or your passion, can be a life long journey. Assertiveness can assist with this goal, as assertive speech requires us to be able to put words to our emotions and express them in neither a passive, nor aggressive way. No matter how aggressive someone is verbally with us, we can always set boundaries with assertive speech. 

"I" Statements

Assertive speech requires us to be able to discuss things on the terms of our own feelings and desires. Rather than, "you need to stop being a jerk!" We can say, "I feel upset when you raise your voice at me," followed by a simple, concrete request, "if we are going to keep speaking, I need us to be speaking at a normal, conversational tone, is that acceptable to you?" 

Specific, concrete requests give us the responsibility of determining our own needs and putting our own words to our emotions. This allows for progress to be made in conflicts as well as finding your passion because you can take back control from others which may seem overwhelming inside our minds. We can't stop other people from being overly aggressive sometimes, but we can refer to our own emotions and assert boundaries.

Becoming More Assertive and Discovering Your Passion

Assertiveness and actualizing our values and passions are both part and parcel to each other. The better we get at realizing what it is that makes us feel upset or stuck, the more we can move towards what makes us happy. The less we are effected by aggression in the world because we can employ assertive speech and successfully create boundaries, the more we can grow, uninhibited by aggression from others.

In fact, the more you can set boundaries with others, the more you might find relationship with others can blossom. When our needs are communicated assertively both to others and ourselves, we find much of the work of finding meaning and our passion is done for us!