Ask a therapist > Motivation > How do I help myself into better self-management?

How do I help myself into better self-management?

I am a junior student in college. Back then, when I was a fairly new student in the university, I was able to have a schedule so I can study on time (despite the asynchronous sessions) and even do my assignments ahead of time. However, I think things changed now especially when I entered an organization that divided my priorities. Don’t get me wrong, I love this organization because I was able to find friends and be a part of something bigger. I truly appreciate these people and they feel like genuine people. But this year, I fear that I am having more trouble balancing my responsibilities given that I am handling a high position in the organization for a year now, and am about to take the position of the President. What’s harder is I can’t seem to manage myself. I can’t seem to keep up with a routine because I consider myself a spontaneous person who only does things based on feelings. I’ve been this way because I don’t like restricting myself too much to routines. However, I realize that I’ve become too lazy, unmotivated, and burnt out. Listening to my feelings kind of has become a hindrance because it has made me stuck in my emotions instead of productively acting on them. Now, I don’t even really feel joy anymore- whether in going out with friends, studying and doing my assignments, or doing my responsibilities in the organization. I’ve been this way since this year, and I think I just reached a turning point when I know I can’t be like this forever. When I feel tired or unmotivated, I postpone things until the last minute. But I don’t want to be this way forever. I have big dreams for myself, but I just can’t get myself out of this obstacle. I really think I’ve been too careless about myself that it has come to a point that I don’t know how to handle myself anymore. It’s also more sad that I’m slowly isolating myself from my friends and family, because these are real problems I don’t want to burden them with, and honestly I don’t know if they can help me. All I need is myself right now, but it’s still hard.

Asked by Gela

Motivation

Answered

05/29/2022

College life can be one of the most exciting experiences in a young person's life and you're not alone in wanting to have the full experience of college.

Finding community is tough as well and it seems that you have found a place to fit in and you want to give it your all. Nevertheless you have described the struggle for most in having fun and being productive. If you are not really a rule follower, it is very difficult to create a schedule and routines to accomplish things. However without a schedule and planning, things can't help but slip through the cracks and push you toward procrastination in your endeavors. So maybe you can start with just making sure all the tasks that you want to accomplish get added to your phone or calendar. So when you are not doing things specific to the organization give yourself a couple of hours to consider what are the most important things for that day and work towards accomplishing those things. I also suggest considering the hours of the day you are at your best and most productive. It is easier to complete task when you use that period of time to work. Waiting until you are tired or as you described until the last minute means you are borrowing energy from periods when you should be resting, which is creating a habit that wrecks your sleep schedule, which also aids in a lack productivity.

I would also imagine you are not eating great if you are trying to balance play, work, and school. So finding time to sleep, eat, take care of yourself and work have to be intentional choices. You can be productive without some of these things but the longer your don't do them, then the greater the risk of being burned out and not productive because you are ignoring your own basic needs, which also kills your desire to hang out and enjoy activities that you used to. When you are not taking care of you, then your body compensates by robbing you of the energy you would normally have to keep your body functioning. So don't forget about you as you take on all the responsibilities as a student, member of organization, friend, and individual. Your friends can help with this too. Ask them to remind you to take breaks and remind you that others can manage some of the things you believe you have to do. That might be your best idea to use and get help. You might be able to do everything alone but none of us are really built to do everything by ourselves.

Mr. Derrick Woodbury

LPC