How do I improve my self confidence, self worth and motivation levels?

Hello Vivi,

It is very nice to meet you. Thank you for taking the time to reach out and ask your question. I am sorry to hear about your recent breakup. You mention that you have always struggled with communication, while you can not change the past, you can control what you do now and in the future.

One very important part of communication is being able to set boundaries about what you are and are not comfortable with. It is okay to tell someone that something bothers you. One strategy that I would recommend is to utilize "I statements". For example, if you are upset with someone, like the example you gave. Instead of saying something like, "You don't care about me, you don't think it's important to see me, etc", say something like, "I felt hurt when you said that 4 hours was not worth, I felt like I was not important." With I statements, you own the feeling and do not accuse anything else of saying or doing something that hurts you. 

You are the only one who can get yourself out of the rut that you feel you're in right now. You describe having a positive support system, which is wonderful and very important. 

Another thing to remember is that thoughts control feelings, and feelings control actions and behaviors. For example, if your thought is that you the family failure, you are going to feel worthless, unimportant, incompetent, etc. Those feelings will show in the actions of not caring properly for yourself, not caring for personal care, etc. Instead, think about the positive things you have done since having your son. What have you done, did you continue your education, do you work, have a place to live? Think about the positive things you have going on in your life. Having a child at a young age does not make you a failure, it makes you a young mom! There is nothing wrong with that! 

For motivation, set small, realistic goals for yourself. Every time you achieve a goal that you have set, you will feel that you've accomplished something.

I would also encourage you to consider speaking with a therapist to work on the issues and concerns you have brought up. There are many strategies and tools out there to help you with this.

I hope that you have found this information helpful and I wish you all the best moving forward on your journey.