Ask a therapist > Motivation > How do I move on from the “what ifs” of my basketball career and focus on how grateful I am for it?

How do I move on from the “what ifs” of my basketball career and focus on how grateful I am for it?

I graduated college in the spring. I played basketball in college after playing year round since I was a young kid. My first year was a blast and both the team and I had success, but COVID threw my career for a loop the following years. My last season ended with an unexpected loss in the conference tournament. I could have pursued another year of ball somewhere, but instead of going through everything to find another program and most likely paying to go to school another year, I graduated and started my career and moved in with my girlfriend. Ever since then I have mostly suppressed the grief I feel about my basketball career ending and tried not to think about it. I have barely touched a basketball since the end of the season, something I did almost every day including the off-season for years. I want to look back positively on my career instead of feeling disappointment whenever I think about it.
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Asked by Sam
Motivation
Answered
11/16/2022

I'm wondering what your current career is and how content you may be in it.  I am a big supporter of dreams, so before you give up on a basketball career, have you considered exploring all options first?  By this I mean, not the only option of going back to school, but affiliating yourself with hoops in a different way.  Perhaps there is a local program that you could get involved with and just go play a pick up game with.   Maybe you could explore coaching options at the local level, such as high school or local college.  The biggest factor is to make connections.  That's the best way to explore what options you could explore in the basketball world.  Talk to coaches, current and former players, anyone involved in the sport.  Who is doing what you'd like to be doing right now?  There's a large organization called The Basketball Tournament that you could get involved with as a volunteer in many different roles.  

If none of those options are appealing to you and you are content with your current career choice, the best way to handle this is to focus on the present.  What are aspects of your job/career and your life that you are grateful for? You've probably heard about having an attitude of gratitude.  When you focus on the present moment, it assists you in not thinking about the past.  

Also, it is important that you begin to make plans about what's next for you in your life.  Where do you want to be in the next month, the next year, the next five years?  This includes not just career, but family, leisure pursuits, etc. By planning what you want to accomplish moving forward, this will greatly help you focus on your goals and not keep looking back at the past.  You need to come up with an image of yourself and your life that motivates you to work toward those goals.  And if that includes the dream of playing basketball again or being involved in the sport, what steps would you need to take to accomplish this?  I hope this helps.

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