How do I navigate through unlearning an attachment pattern?

I've recently learned I suffer from an attachment type that comes from abandonment issues. I can't remember the name of it. But I can definitely see the signs and patterns in every unsuccessful relationship I've had. What made me realize it is my current relationship. The only reason we are still together is because he's very understanding but recently it's been creating some barriers. It's gotten much worse on my end due to his schedule change. We separated for 2 weeks and this is when I realized my pattern. What are some tools or things I can do to learn how to unlearn this. I know this is a loaded question but I don't know where to start other than therapy.
Asked by Her
Answered
10/10/2022

Thanks for reaching out!!  Your concerns are important to us. 

Always remember in anything; Learned Behaviors can be Changed Behaviors and the steps to getting there are Practice, Practice, and More Practice of Self-Love!! 

Attachment and abandonment issues are scary to us and makes us clingy; our focus tends to be on others more than ourselves. There are at least four attachment disorders and a person can display a blend of symptoms from each. Being aware and knowing your attachment style is your major hurdle for healing. Know your style of attachment and do the work with a Therapist to develop skills for success and for a plan to reduce symptoms that are of concern to you. 

Self-Love is a beautiful concept; it makes us to see the beauty of developing our own sense of belonging.  You might use self-reflective journaling to identify triggers that are root causes; make note of feelings - good ones and bad ones. Know your needs and practice reactions to those needs.

Be ok with exploring past traumas with a Therapist. We have found through research that early childhood life experiences do affect our adult life experiences and choices. Explore with a Therapist of your choice. You deserve to be safe, secure and loved. 

Be ok with going out of your way to plan dates with yourself, have alone moments whereas you can meditate and focus on your own Happy Place in Mind, Body and Spirit. Finding things that interest you and that make you happy.  Focus on making changes to learned habits that may be toxic for yourself and to others by exploring Positive Self-Love GOALS and ways of CELEBRATING YOU!! Sometimes we have to take baby steps to get to where we need to be; but with practice we get there. As you develop goals and practice self-love, you will definitely see changes in your life. 

Therapy is important for our mental health and working together with a Therapist you will receive the skills and strategies for reducing your symptoms.   

Thanks for reaching out and I hope that I have offered you something that might change your life!!