I don't always feel like associating myself with anyone lately.

Dear Manny,

I think the first step here is to reflect on why you do not feel like interacting with others right now. You mentioned feeling like this for a while now, so I think it is best to ask yourself when did it first start. Did you start wanting to isolate yourself after you had a negative interaction with someone? Are you feeling mentally tired from school, work, or interacting with other people? With regard to your mood, do you feel sad, unmotivated, or hesitant to spend time with others? Are you concerned about how others perceive you to the point that you do not want to be around anyone else? Do you feel anxious about being around other people?

Another important component to consider is whether or not you are isolating yourself from everyone or certain people. For example, if you live with others at home are you spending time with them and then not spending time with people who live outside of your living space? There is a difference between not wanting to be around anyone including those who live in the same living space and not wanting to be around certain people. If you spend time outside of your living space either at work or at school, it is also essential to reflect on how you feel in these settings around other people.

If not wanting to associate with others applies to everyone in your life, you might want to consider developing a plan to be social again. This might first include you starting off small with having certain social interactions again. You can consider spending time with a close relative or close friend and doing something low-key with them to see how you feel. After you spend time with this person you can reflect on how you feel. If you find that you feel sad, anxious, or unmotivated right before you are supposed to see this person or while you are spending time with them make note of how you feel in the moment. If you start to feel anxious around them is it because you are not sure what to say to them or you are worried about how they are perceiving you?

If not wanting to associate with others only applies to certain people or groups of people in certain settings, it can be helpful to reflect on why you do not want to spend time with certain people. Do you feel like certain people do not respect your boundaries? Do you find it hard to be close or vulnerable with certain people? Sometimes when we are experiencing tough times with self-esteem or body image it can be hard to spend time with particular people.

With it being the end of the year, you might also just want to take a break from spending time with other people or you might want to be more selective of who you spend time with. Time for decompression and self-care is extremely important during the holidays. If you are feeling burned out from socializing with others it is okay to take a break. It is also okay to want to specifically spend time with people who make you feel happy, safe, or appreciated. I hope you find this information helpful.

Best,

Jasmine