Why do I act against my better judgment.

Hi Zeha 

I am so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time doing the things that you know you need to do and that internally you are more negative.

There is some thing that Psychologist called cognitive dissonance which can explain why some people are act against their better judgment. Cognitive  dissonance is when there is a contradiction between what someone knows and believes and their actual behaviors.What you are experiencing as a perfect example of this, you know that you need to study but you aren't studying and then you feel bad about that decision. Feeling of guilt and dissatisfation about your decision leads to depression/ feeling low about your self only making it that much harder to actually find the motivation to study.  It's a hard cycle to be in, that is why having a therapist that can provide you with tools and encouragement can be helpful. 

Here are some of the reasons that cognitive dissonance occurs and how you can help overcome them:

Anticipating Hard Work

Many of the times procrastination hits because you know that it's going to be hard so you put it aside until the risk of failing becomes really real...usually as the deadline gets really close. 

Something that you can do to help overcome the anticipation of hard work is to schedule both time to work and time to play. Try not to overwhelm yourself with an excessive amount of study time but when you do it make sure you are focused and are setting yourself up for success; but also have that time where you can have some fun and relax and make sure that you are present and focused on having fun and relaxing. Both are super important.

Sleep deprivation

We all know we need sleep but sometimes sleep is the first thing we throw out the window in order to make time for other things. When you are sleep deprived you are unable to make healthy choices; this could be from not eating the right things, to acting out and doing some thing unsafe or even making time to study for a test. Not having enough sleep also affects your ability to focus and stay on task some thing that she really need in order to study.

Try to give yourself a good amount of time to sleep making sure that you have about eight hours of sleep a night. If you find yourself tossing and turning at night try to make a bedtime routine that removes the screen time an hour before going to bed and doing things like taking a bath and drinking tea to help you relax yourself so that by the time you go to bed it's easy to fall asleep.

False sense of security

Perhaps in the past you have not studied and for some reason you were able to overcome and pass the test. Sometimes when that has happened a couple times in your life there's a false sense that somethings going to happen and it will all work out.

Remind yourself that this is some thing you and that you've never taken this specific test and this way. This will help remove that false sense of security where you think they that you will pass. Also try to remind yourself that perhaps you will be successful in this test but allowing yourself a correct amount of time to study will make it a lot easier to overcome the test.

Afraid of failure

Some times when something is very important you become afraid of failing therefore to removed that added pressure you don't allow yourself enough time to study so that if by any chance you do not pass you can always say that it's not because of "how smart you are", but because you just didn't study enough.

Don't allow yourself to jeopardize the test results by not studying. Just because you don't pass a test does not mean that you are not good or smart. It just means that this is all new and that you are learning. Try to remove some of that negative self talk by adding some thing more positive to the thoughts that you are having. Remind yourself of things that you have done right in the past and I know you have overcome various challenges. Reminding yourself of this will help you once again feel encouraged to go and overcome future challenges. 

Lack of motivation usually gets one into a very vicious circle of not wanting to do things and then feeling guilty about not doing them which makes it even harder to do more things. The fact that you were asking for help shows that you want something more out of yourself and it's a great place to be. Take some time to write down what are some of the things that you would like to complete/goals you would like to achieve. Don't be too hard on yourself on decisions you have made in the past and focus on what you can do now.

Changing a habit is really hard to do. Study shows that it takes 21 days to break a habit or to start a new habit so make sure to give yourself some grace and be patient with yourself as you try to change some of your old habits. 

While thinking about things have happened in the past is sometimes important it doesn't necessarily change your present or your future. Now is a good time to start changing some of those bad habits and trying to connect your beliefs and your actions. 

I know that this can be very hard to do so I encourage you to seek out help; perhaps a friend, a family member or a therapist. There are many therapists out there like me who would love to encourage you and give you more tools so that you could be the person that you want to be.