Can attraction build over time?

Attraction is something that develops differently for every person for a variety of reasons.  Some of us might develop an attraction to others quickly, whereas some people might develop attraction more slowly over time.  For people that do not feel an attraction right away, it can be easy to question if it will develop.  It is important to see the two main components of attraction: the emotional and physical components.  Some of us might be more likely to develop attraction through getting to know someone more on an emotional level.  For example, learning about someone’s values, what they enjoy, etc., might add to an emotional attraction.  Some people are more likely to develop attraction on a physical level through the physical characteristics of the other person.  Then a lot of us are somewhere in the middle of both of these components is important.  Whatever the case is for you, it is important to know what things help you attract someone.  Then once you figure that out, you can pursue those things to see if attraction will build over time.  For example, if getting to know someone’s hobbies helps develop an attraction to someone, then make sure to live that out to see if the attraction develops. 

Another component of attraction to explore is to think about the ways you receive and give love.  We are all wired differently, and letting someone that you are dating know how you receive love can help give more of a possibility to an attraction developing. For example, if I receive love best by receiving words of affirmation, that could be really helpful information for someone I am dating to see if the attraction can develop. 

Like with anything, it is important to be honest with yourself about what you want.  Sometimes people want an attraction to develop in something that they do not actually want, which will get in the way of attraction from developing.  For example, if I am dating someone and really want to be single, I will likely struggle with developing an attraction to that person because I do not truly want that.