How do I build a long term solution to my mental health rather than just putting out fires

Hey there! I wanted to thank you for reaching out to BetterHelp for support. It is hard to ask for help sometimes, and you should be proud of yourself for doing so today! I wanted to preface this by saying that I am answering this question based on the information you have provided today. If we were meeting for a therapy session, I would want to ask clarifying questions to gather more information. However, I only have the information provided above and I am not able to ask follow-up questions. Therefore, I apologize in advance if I have misunderstood any of this!

First of all, I want to offer my condolences for the loss of your friend. I am so sorry to hear this - grief is so complex. I can imagine this has been so hard to deal with, and I can understand why it would affect you at uni with making friends. It can be hard to make friends after such a significant loss. I would definitely want to ask if you have considered grief counseling? Grief counseling can be so helpful after a loss, whether it is individual or group counseling. Just a thought that comes to mind initially. Also, you can probably relate a lot to other people after having gone through this loss - that can really help with being a true friend, since you can be able to empathize and sympathize with others. That may be something that attracts people to you as a friend.

It also sounds like you have been struggling with depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem for a while now. I can imagine this has not been easier after the loss of your friend. It also sounds like the academic load and work has made it more difficult to manage. I would encourage you to try to identify when you feel the most anxious at work or school - is it before something is due, is it during the day, is it at night? Try to keep a log of when you are feeling anxious. Then, I would encourage you to try to identify if there are certain thoughts that are happening that make the anxiety worse. If so, I would encourage you to try challenging the anxious thoughts when they happen. I would encourage you to think about the worst possible outcome, the best possible outcome, and the most realistic outcome. This can help with challenging anxiety and grounding yourself to the present moment.

I would also encourage you to practice coping skills to help with depression, anxiety, burnout, and self-esteem. Are there things you enjoy doing that you have stopped doing as much? Are there things that spike your interest that you want to do more? Examples of positive coping skills would be: reading, going for a walk, exercising, talking to a loved one, taking a warm bath or shower, writing, praying, meditating, watching TV, knitting ... the list goes on and on! You can also try to practice "grounding techniques", such as meditation or deep breathing. There are even videos on YouTube that help with deep breathing and meditation exercises. I would also encourage you to try journaling when you are feeling depressed, anxious, burnt out, spiraling, etc... Journaling can be an effective tool to write out your thoughts and feelings. I would encourage you to practice "Stream of Consciousness Journaling", where you can set a timer for a certain amount of time and then just write out/type out whatever comes to mind. This can be effective for helping ground you back to present. I would also encourage you to try to talk to your support system about your thoughts and feelings if you have a support system. I also would encourage you to look into starting therapy if you are interested in this. It can really help to talk to someone who also can help guide you in the right direction.

I want to thank you again for reaching out for support today. I hope this has been helpful. I wish you the best on your journey!