How do I fight my addiction to food?

Thank you for asking this important question that many people struggle to understand. Addictions can be complex in nature, however, I've shared a brief outline of the nature of addictions here and what can often be helpful. 

Using food, sugar, or any number of substances, such as alcohol, drugs – or even immersing ourselves in overworking – can be a way we to try to 'self-soothe' our emotional pain. Sometimes the exact nature of our pain is known to us, but at other times we may not know what lies beneath our compulsive habits that often develop over time as a way to cope with difficult feelings.

Using a substance can numb our feelings and keeps us from experiencing the full extent of our emotional pain. Sugar, of course also has a physiological impact (there is more scientific evidence emerging regarding this; I am not an expert in this area).

When we notice these behaviours and habits taking place, it can be helpful to have compassion for ourselves and see that we are trying to 'fix how we feel' through consuming a substance, rather than believing there is something wrong with us. Shame is also part of the picture as we struggle to understand our compulsions, which usually progress over time and become out of control as we habitually continue to perform these habits compulsively, over and over again. Continuing to hide ourselves from others is a common pattern with addictions of any kind and can feed the isolation and shame we often already feel.

We may also have a number of underlying negative beliefs about ourselves, past trauma or difficulties we haven’t yet processed, which is leading us to act compulsively. Yet, the part of us that is trying to heal and feel better through using sugar (or food, drugs, alcohol, money, sex etc.) has the highest positive intention for us; it's just that the method we’ve chosen causes more harm, keeping us stuck in a negative, habitual cycle.

When we decide to access more helpful solutions, such as talking through past trauma or current worries with someone we trust, we can start to heal the pain, to identify circumstances that might have led us to act compulsively, begin to understand ourselves better and recognise future behaviours, situations or things that might be continuing to trigger us to act compulsively.

Gaining greater awareness of ourselves and our needs enables us to start expressing ourselves in healthier ways, which also gradually allows us to release our need to hurt ourselves again and again through using compulsive behaviours or substances.

Living with an addiction can feel lonely. Addictive thoughts and behaviours have the capacity to take over our lives, shutting out our capacity to think clearly, identify our needs or take good care of ourselves. However, it can be really useful to see that what we are really trying to do is to 'feel better'. When we understand this, it’s often easier to become open to viewing ourselves with compassion, recognising ourselves as ordinary people who are struggling with challenging feelings and emotions and who need help.

When we find new ways to manage our feelings and emotions, instead of harming ourselves further, we can give ourselves the opportunity to live full and satisfying lives.