How do I find my purpose?

Hello and thank you for posting your question in this forum. This is a rather difficult and complex concern but we will attempt to help you deconstruct it as much as possible, given what you have written here.

It appears you are primarily struggling to find purposes and meaning in your life. It sounds like you have experienced set backs with your life and career, and this has recently come to the surface via very powerful feelings. This is understandable and many people go through such phases in life, especially at your current age. The situation appears to have been greatly compounded, in your case, given you have experienced a number of deep losses.

Losses, especially when they mount or add up in a quick manner, can be very difficult to process and understand. It can be hard to do this alone and we may begin to ask a lot of questions about: why and how did I get to this point? You seem to have arrived at that juncture. There are no easy answers to these questions and, in the process of considering how we arrived here, we would want to think about our meaning and purposes in this world. Meaning and purpose are very difficult to understand and attain, however, it is possible to gain such understanding - especially with value exploration.

Value exploration work is integral to a lot of what we do in terms of psychotherapeutic treatment, so if you entered therapy you would be exposed to these sorts of things. It would be highly recommended that you attain psychotherapy to attempt to gain insight into the condition and to help resolve the situation. It would not necessarily need to happen in this online setting, though online therapy can be very helpful and has been very helpful to individuals presenting with your concerns of exploring meaning, purpose, and existential life analysis. However, you can also seek offline support through a therapist in an office setting, in your local community, which may be another option - if that is appealing to you.

If you choose not to enter treatment you can do some of this yourself. You may want to take out a blank piece of paper and write out the top five things which are most important for you to achieve, from 1 to 5, in descending order (from most important to least important). Then reflect on what it might take to accomplish these things. What is also notable in such reflection is to consider whether your basic needs are currently being met. And if they are not it would be important to work on having those needs met, before addressing anything else. I would also recommend getting a book if you’re able to buy a book online. It has helped many people in similar sorts of predicaments and I would buy copies of it to hand out to patients in the hospital, in the past. It’s called ‘The Happiness Trap’ by Australian Psychologist Russ Harris, PhD. It’s quite affordable on Amazon and will help to guide you towards better psychological understanding and value exploration work.

Ultimately, no matter what type of psychological support you choose, I hope you find the support you’re seeking and needing in this very difficult moment. It is certainly possible to find that support. Thank you again for posting your question in this online forum. I wish you good luck in the future as well as good physical and mental health.