Ask a therapist > Other > How do I get the help I need when my family is not supporting me/ belittle the issues I have.

How do I get the help I need when my family is not supporting me/ belittle the issues I have.

I’ve had lots of trauma from my past that has caused me to have depression and anxiety. I have a job and do great, but still I feel empty and tend to stress a lot. I overthink a lot and that causes my mind to race. Also when I get anxious, my heart tends to have palpitations. It’s freaks me out and I have to do breathing exercises but it tends to last days. I know I need help learning to cope and not be a victim to my intrusive thoughts but no one listens to me. There’s a pain in my chest that doesn't go away, I’ve dropped a lot of hobbies, food doesn’t seem appetizing. There’s nothing to trigger these issues but they're here and eating at me.

Asked by Sporky

Other

Answered

10/21/2022

Past traumas are difficult and do have a ripple effect on your life. The emotional, mental, physical, and relational aspects of a person's life can be impacted. Part of post traumatic growth is making the decision to continue to live. You have a job and are trying to continue living despite the traumas and the impact they have had on you. As you recognize, your body reacts to stressors in a traumatic way. In a similar fashion to someone that has experienced food poisoning, they don't have to be at the restaurant or have that particular meal in front of them to feel that same sick feeling. Just thinking about that food they ate can be enough to produce the feeling. Our bodies remember. Your traumas have changed how you perceive situations, people, experiences, etc., and your body reacts to things as a threat. You have recognized some of the pieces of the puzzle. You recognize that your thoughts impact how you feel. You recognize your body reacts with a stress response (heart palpitations, etc) which probably makes you feel like something is wrong with you physically and you feel like you need to go to the hospital to get checked out which only increases the anxiety you are experiencing.

Using deep breathing has been shown to be effective for anxiety, depression, and anger (see The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook). It calms the nervous system down, which slows the heart rate, calms the breathing, etc. It also gives you something to focus on, such as breathing in for the count of four, hold it for four, and release for four.

While breathing helps, it is not a cure all. It is tough feeling like no one listens to you. Journaling may be a way for you to get your feelings out and on paper. If you don't feel comfortable keeping those thoughts around, you can tell out the page and tear up the page. It can be a way to literally and symbolically get rid of those thoughts and feelings. Thoughts are just that: thoughts. It doesn't mean they are the truth. Working through trauma is not only attending to the physical responses but also challenging the negative thoughts and stories that you tell yourself about yourself. You don't have to feel alone in this process. There are therapists that are willing to be there for you, provide a safe, supportive, and nonjudgmental space for you to share your trauma story while helping you find the pieces of the puzzle to help you live instead of feeling like you just exist.

See addition information:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-doesnt-kill-us/201706/some-advice-coping-following-trauma

Joshua Sheets

LCSW