How does one deal with intrusive thoughts following a traumatic event?

Hi Evie,

I'm sorry to hear you've been having intrusive thoughts, trouble sleeping and other symptoms after experiencing a traumatic event.  Of course you are worthy and lovable!  I hear you though that you are struggling so I will do my best to answer your question.  

Regarding intrusive thoughts, there are a few strategies that can help.  First of all, don't fight the thoughts.  Just notice them, be aware of them, and let them pass.  Sometimes it helps to try to see the thought kind of floating on a cloud above you passing by.  I am not sure exactly what's going on or how often, but intrusive thoughts are common after experiencing trauma.  In addition to not fighting with the thoughts, it can also help to distract yourself.  Call a friend, do something soothing like take a bath or get outside and take a walk, read a book (a positive one, not a crime novel)...pet your dog or cat if you have one...take deep breaths...and you can also try thinking of a mantra to say to yourself. Maybe say "I am safe" or "I am loved" or "this is temporary and will pass."  In other words, we don't want to be afraid too much of the thoughts, but we also don't want to dwell on them and stay there too long either. If it happens late at night, maybe try getting up and doing something soothing.  Take deep breaths.  It can help to know your triggers too.  Depending on what they are, you can sometimes avoid them, but again we want you out in the world and living so a happy medium with that is good.  For example, sometimes people get triggered from watching the news.  In that case, turn it off!  We can be educated but not constantly bombarded with negativity either.

Other things that can be very helpful if you can incorporate into your life are:  yoga, meditation, mindfulness practices, psychotherapy, essential oils, and any self care that relaxes you and makes you feel good.  Massage, acupuncture, fresh air, getting out in nature, making a plan with a friend are all examples of this.  (Mindfulness refers to being aware of the present moment.  Notice everything around you, happening right now.  Feel your feet on the floor, your breathing, look at your surroundings right now.) Mindfulness can bring you back to the present moment, where there is no current trauma and you are safe.  Anxiety tends to live in the past and future, not in the present moment.

Talk therapy can be helpful in processing trauma for many reasons.  First, you have support and are not alone.  Secondly, it can help to talk about the traumatic event in a safe place so you can kind of re-live it but in a safe environment. This can actually kind of re-train the brain to feel safer.  After people experience trauma, or sometimes multiple traumas, the brain can be kind of stuck in a hypervigilant state so you could be really sensitive to noises or criticism or stress.  So anything you can do to calm the mind is good. Talking about the traumatic event is very serious; in other words you need to work with someone you trust and who you feel comfortable with. And you don't need to do it too often either.  

I do not prescribe medication, but I sometimes suggest or refer people to be evaluated for medication by a Psychiatrist or their Primary Care Physician.  Research has shown that a combination of therapy and medication can be the most effective way to treat depression and anxiety, two common effects of trauma.  I am not sure that you have those, as I have not met you, but it is very possible.

There are other techniques that can be very helpful in overcoming trauma, such as EMDR.  This is done by a licensed therapist and usually in person, although more and more therapists are learning to do this virtually.  Admittedly, it can be a bit challenging to find the right therapist or Psychiatrist, but there is help out there, and treatment for what you are going through.

I really like working at Betterhelp, and in my opinion teleheath is a very effective form of therapy, depending on the situation.  You might benefit from in person therapy, however.  Either way, any counseling/therapy is recommended for you.  A mental health professional will be trained and able to point you in the right direction.  Again please know there is help for what you are experiencing.

There are always other answers, and our problems are temporary.  As painful as it is, "this too shall pass".  In time you will heal.  Social supports are great.  Please try not to isolate yourself.  I know you said you have trouble socializing, and that makes sense.  But if you can get out a bit it should help.  

I sense there might be some shame associated with whatever you experienced.  I would like to remind you that whatever it was, it wasn't your fault.  You experienced it, but that does not mean you need to keep it a secret or blame yourself.  You are not alone.

You really can overcome this challenge.  Get the help that you need, take care of yourself, and please have faith that it will get better.  

I wish you the very best, and hang in there!