How will therapy help?

Therapy has many benefits and I know it may seem cliche but it truly can help you feel better in all areas of life. At the most basic level, therapy gives you a neutral party with whom to share your story. Someone who can help you process what happened and how you are feeling about what happened. Therapy also gives you a different perspective at times and can challenge your thinking when you are stuck in one route that is not helping. 

Yes, you can read about all the logistics of psychology and emotions and human behaviors and everything else that goes into why we do the things we do, but a book cannot give you the feelings, emotions, and human connection you get when releasing your story to a real-life person. Your story still stays in your head and you cannot get objective feedback from yourself. Reading about something is much different than going through the actions. You can be the most knowledgeable person in the world and still have things to learn. Knowing about all the things that go into what makes a person and what plays role in mental health is a good step but it is hard to be objective about yourself. 

It sounds like you are very self-aware which is also a very important step. However, we all carry biases - about ourselves, about the world, about others. Biases are not a bad thing but they can block us from seeing clearly. That being said, seeing a therapist can give you someone to help look inside and shift beyond your biases. Therapy is a fresh perspective. 

It can be extremely hard to trust someone, especially a random stranger with whom you get paired at a mental health agency or on a website, or wherever. Therapy does involve taking a "leap of faith" so to speak. You are putting your trust in another human for them to not screw you over. That is terrifying! But, it can also be the best experience you have. You also have to go in with an open mind and knowing that you are not going to click with every single therapist you meet. This includes truly know that it is okay and also knowing that it is okay to switch therapists if that is what feels right to you. Good luck!!!