I am desperate for help and need evaluation to understand why I am destroying me and my family lives

Hello T,

Based on what you wrote, you seem to present with an adjustment disorder due to your release from prison. 

The transition from being incarcerated to being released poses several difficulties in getting used to your new life. The challenges specific to this transition to freedom include many steps to be taken to reintegrate into the community. Emotional or behavioral symptoms mark adjustment disorder in response to identifiable stress.

The diagnosis is established when the patient's symptoms (you in this situation) do not meet the criteria for another disorder such as depression, anxiety disorder, acute stress disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, etc. I don't have enough information, but after gathering more data, post-traumatic stress disorder could also be a possibility. You will have to meet with a psychotherapist or psychiatrist to complete an intake to establish a working diagnosis. 

So what causes adjustment disorder? Stressful events are the first direct cause of adjustment disorder. Examples include a divorce, a health problem, the death of a loved one, a move, financial problems, significant life changes, etc. In your case, your release from prison and having to adjust to your new life meets the criteria. Also, genetic, family, brain factors, and stressful life experiences (e.g., trauma ) play a role in the etiology of adjustment disorder. Other present or past psychopathological problems would lead to vulnerability when confronted with stressful events. In this regard, a personality disorder would constitute a significant risk factor by reducing flexibility in the face of life changes. Indeed, this disorder is characterized by a deficiency in the level of capacities and adequate coping strategies in the face of stress. Deficiencies in emotional development, stress management, and social skills also raise the likelihood of developing this disorder. For example, people with burnout are often diagnosed with adjustment disorder or depression, depending on their symptoms.

Here are these criteria:

Development of emotional and behavioral symptoms in response to one or more identifiable stressors, occurring within three months of the onset of the stressors. In your case, most of the stressors happened upon your release from prison. 

Your symptoms and behaviors are clinically significant, as evidenced by: marked suffering, worse than expected in response to this stressor, and a significant alteration in social functioning. The stress-related disturbance does not meet the criteria for another mental disorder and is not simply an exacerbation of a pre-existing mental condition. Again I am unsure about your symptoms, and I lack the knowledge to establish another diagnosis. Your symptoms do not represent normal grief.

Adjustment disorder is acute if the disturbance persists for less than six months. And it is chronic if it continues for six months or more. 

The following specifiers accompany the diagnosis:

• • With depressed mood
  • With anxiety
  • With both anxiety and depressed mood
  • With disturbances of both emotions (depression, anxiety) and behavior

Symptoms of the emotional register can be:

• • Related to a depressed mood: crying, feelings of hopelessness, etc.
  • Related to anxiety: nervousness, worry, agitation.

Behavioral symptoms may include: a violation of the rights of others or essential norms and rules of social life, given the subject's age (e.g., vandalism, driving, carelessness, fighting, failure to fulfill legal responsibilities).

The primary treatment for adjustment disorder is psychotherapy, which relieves symptoms and supports the sufferer. The provider (counselor, psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker) will also aim to help the patient develop effective coping strategies.  In this process, the provider will first try to identify and understand the meaning of the stress factors affecting the patient's functioning. Several forms of short-term psychotherapy can help - e.g., CBT therapy, humanistic, psychodynamic, or systemic therapy centered on stress management are the most appropriate. 

I recommend that you seek mental health services in the community given your symptoms and start working with a provider as soon as possible. I wish you to overcome your symptoms quickly and return to an appropriate level of functioning. 

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help