What body language shows you are listening?

Body language refers to the nonverbal signals, conscious or unconscious that we use to communicate.  These signals can be facial expressions, body posturing, gestures, eye movement/placement, touch, and use of space.  Every part of your body can send a message to others.  As a form of communication, body language is thought to make up more than half of our communication with others. Surprisingly, our voice, to include our tone of voice, is only thought to contribute to our communication at the rate of about 38%.  The positioning and use of our bodies can send the message that we are open and receptive to a conversation…or not.  Body language compliments our verbal language.  It helps to establish the relationship between people and regulate the interaction.  If you want your body language to show someone that you are approachable, interested, engaged, and listening, here are some basic guidelines: 

~Keep good eye contact

~Nod while you are listening

~Make sure that your arms are uncrossed

~Lean in slightly when sitting

~Keep your face loose and relaxed 

~Use a deep, calm, rhythmic breath 

~Sit or stand upright 

~Tilt head to one side

~Palms open and facing upward

~Be consistent and avoid mixed messages

~Be mindful of timing and space

Often people send confusing or negative nonverbal signals without even realizing it.  When this happens, the connection in conversation is lost.  It can lead to feelings of distrust, hurt, and anger which can negatively impact any relationship.  Below are some things to avoid when using body language to communicate: 

~Pinched lips or tight jaw

~Frowning or squinting

~Looking away or casting eyes down

~Folding your arms or crossing your ankles 

~Pointing an accusing finger

~Looking dubious or disgusted

~Leaning away

~Shrugging your shoulders

~Covering your mouth or face 

~Tapping your feet

~Turning your body away

~Fidgeting

~Writing or doodling

~Nail biting

Scholars have long debated on whether body language, especially facial expressions, is universally understood.  The above-mentioned guidelines are general, and body language may vary from country to country or culture to culture.  Due to this, there are no universal guidelines for body language.   It is important to understand what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in each culture and adjust your body language accordingly.