How can I control my temper to be a better parent?

Hi Mom...Yes you are right parenting is a challenging time.  Emotions emerge that we didn't even know we carried.

Our own childhood issues start to emerge and we start to process three worlds.  The past, present and future. Reminding yourself that no one is perfect and as much as we try, we are humans and we will all make mistakes.  Giving ourselves the daily grace to forgive ourselves is a start.  

Other things that you could process is focusing on self care.  Yes, I know it is difficult but it is not an excuse to not take care of yourself. Even if it is for small amounts at a time.  Five minutes of deep breathing.  Splashing water on your face.  Going into your vehicles and shutting the door and screaming as loud as you can.  Calling a friend.  Rolling in the grass with the children.  Going for walks.  Sneaking away for a tea or coffee.

I would also take a look at your triggers.  What is the trigger really about.  Is this from your past.  Is it a frustration of yourself such as not fulfilling what you "thought life would be".  What were your expectations of parenting?  Can you look at your expectations and maybe let some of them go.  

I challenge my parents to remain in the present.  Stay in the present and focus on the moment. If we keep looking for a better day it may not come for awhile.  

Maybe taking each day and naming the positives even with your children.  Be the example to them of how you can take control of of your day by taking control of the only thing that you can is ourselves.  Celebrate the small wins.  

Remind yourself that when we yell it is because we are acting in on emotions.  Check yourself first before responding.  Take a physical step back and pause and ask yourself, "How will my next response benefit this situation".  I believe if parents "listen" more than an immediate response, children will use those same skills.

If there is any way you can seek a healthy support person to chat with or even enter therapy to have a supportive non judgmental therapist you can create an understanding with yourself and a relationship with yourself.