How do I deal with self-sabotage and indifference?

I have found that I tend to self-sabotage my grades and my health and I don’t seem to care greatly of the consequences. I don’t know how to make myself motivated even though I know I should be doing things to help myself. I think also, being a perfectionist and a procrastinator hinders me from starting/attempting to start assignments. But I’m ultimately not sure where this feeling of indifference towards my grades and my health comes from. My grades are plummeting and my health is at an all time low but I don’t seem to care. I’m not sure how to overcome this.
Asked by Michelle
Answered
12/05/2021
 

Procrastination is the most common self-sabatoge behavior. Most often, people don't even realize that they are self-sabatoging themselves by procrastinating, so you are already taking a step in a positive direction. However, just being able to recognize that these behaviors are causing issues in your life is not always enough to illicit change. It might be good for you to spend time with a mental health professional processing where the procrastination might be stemming from, such as dysfunctional or distorted cognitive beliefs that might be causing you to underestimate yourself or to ignore your feelings. 

Also, it might be that you are procrastinating because the tasks you need to complete are in some way causing you stress or anxiety. If you procrastinate on the task, you might then be able to put off the negative feelings you get from engaging in the task. Distractions just further the procrastination and make us feel like time has passed quickly, and we were not able to find the time to complete the task. When in reality, we purposely avoided the task by finding something else to do and then missed our opportunity to complete it. 

The feeling of indifference could be coming from different places. It's possible that the indifference is because you are suppressing your feelings about your grades and your concerns for your future. So instead of feeling anxious or stressed, your mind is protecting you from that by turning off the emotions and concerns about the situation. It is also possible that even though you know you need to complete these tasks for your own betterment and for your future, maybe you are not as interested in that option. Maybe you are pushing yourself to pursue a career you are not interested in, but will make others happy.

Indifference can be a result of being overstimulated, so it can cause us to shut down as a coping mechanism for everything we are taking in, whether it be education, emotions, information, or social media. Most often, people feel indifferent when we are overwhelmed and feel powerless to do anything. If you are feeling powerless to stop your procrastination, maybe because something deeper is causing your lack of motivation, then that might be causing you to feel indifferent to the consequences. 

No matter what, it is always good to process these things with a mental health professional so that you can get to the root of these issues and move forward.

 
(MS, LMFT)