How do i stop being so emotional and scared?

I'm constantly crying & triggered by good and bad situations in my relationship after being in abusive relationships before this one. I feel like i'm messing this one up with my emotional baggage and not being able to even express myself. i feel like i cant even trust my own emotions because they're so all over the place.
Asked by m
Answered
12/06/2021

 

 Thank you for your inquiry and vulnerability. Emotions are important and it is important to separate them from throughts. Once that happens its important to  recognize your thoughts, feelings and behaviors impact each other. It is  important to recognize your own internal dialogue and understand what the underlying needs are before communication occurs with others. A big part of effective communication and relationship development is taking accountability for your thoughts and feelings and understanidng no one is responsible for your happiness but yourself. The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with your self. For this reason it is important to be mindful of the things you say to yourself and about yourself.  Communication occurs intrapersonally and interpersonally its difficult to enage in both without taking the time to refelct on your thoughts and feelings and being mindful of your own thinking I believe its best to balance emotions with rationale and express your thoughts and feelings in approrpriate ways. I believe in using assertive communication to get needs met and it is helpful  to understand the underlying need behind every behavior. Indirectly this leads to making healhy choices .  Language is limited and sometimes it is difficult to communicate emotions that may not have been captured by your thoughts. I believe it will be helpful when an occurance has taken place to take space and reflect on the meaning that you want to give to the event. Words are powerful and being mindful of your thoughts is known as metacognition. It helpful   to pay attention to your thinking and chose behaviors that align with your goals and a favored outcome.  Crying is healing and is part of the grieving process. Its important to give yourself the compassion to feel your emotions and use distractions so your emotions do not consume your day. Trauma impacts the way you process information and understanding your triggers helps you to implement coping skills that aid  in containing difficult emotions and thoughts. I appreciate you being mindful of your behaviors and wanting to do some  things differently so that you can have healthier relationships where you can feel safe and heard. Accept factors out of your control, tomorrow is not here   live in the moment and always do your best and be patient with the process of healing.Offer the same comapssion and emphathy you offer others to yourself. You are doing your best and dont forget to reward yourself and give yourself credit for things you are doing well. 

Warm Regards,