Am I doing the right thing?

Thank you for your question and reaching out via the BetterHelp platform. I love a question like this, because it's not quite a simple yes or no answer, depending on the circumstances.

Is therapy the right thing?

I'll be perfectly honest, it depends what you want to get out of therapy. There are a number of different ways to  'do' therapy, however it ultimately depends on what your goal is.

If you want a place to process the break-up, identify some of the thoughts, feelings and patterns of behavior that you don't want to carry forward into a future relationship - then therapy can be a helpful tool, and space, for this process.

What do people go to therapy for?
I view therapy as a tool for managing through change. It allows us to reflect upon the past experiences and gain insight into whether we want to continue being this 'version' of ourselves, or if we want to make a conscious (and sometimes very difficult) choice to actively change how we interact with ourselves, other people and the world around us.

It might be really helpful for you to have that space, that unconditional positive regard and communication with someone outside of the situation, to go through some of the aspects you're questioning. For example, you've said you don't want to go into the next relationship bringing old issues, or issues you don't know you have, with you into the future.

If you're happy to allow a therapist to guide you in the exploration of these issues, you might find it beneficial. I guess there's no way of knowing if it's the 'right thing' until you're in it, and can see what you want to work through, and create a therapy goal to work towards.

In an ideal world, I would love to say 'Yes! Everyone benefits from therapy!' however, that's far too general, and not all therapists are created equal, and not all therapy goals are straightforward or 'easy' to work through. 

A little bit of self disclosure, I'm incredibly biased, as I have weekly therapy with my own therapist to process how I'm feeling or how I want to deal with a presenting problem. Personally, it's been the right thing for me. Could I have made the same progress without her insight? Probably, but it might have taken a lot longer, or have been a lot messier with a lot more emotional conflict.

So, is therapy the right thing?

I would suggest having a chat with a therapist, seeing if you build a rapport with them and if you'd be comfortable working with them to explore how you might want to approach relationships (with yourself, and others) moving forward. 

The wonderful thing about the BetterHelp platform is that if you don't click with one therapist, you can swap and find someone who you feel more comfortable working with. 

I hope this helps, and I wish you all the best on your journey of self discovery and awareness whatever path you decide to take.

Best wishes, 
Jess