Are Attraction and Gravity Related?

Gravity is a force that pushes an object towards the Earth’s center. Attraction is a force that can push someone towards another. Whether they are related is odd, but perhaps comparing, and contrasting attraction to gravity can help us better comprehend attraction.

We know that gravity is an external force (nothing within an object compels it towards the Earth). Attraction to another person, on the other hand, occurs internally. What someone says to us, what they look like and how he dresses, the sound of the person’s voice, etc., all are inherently meaningless until we assign meaning to them. Whereas gravity is inevitable, affecting every object in expected ways following a scientific formula, our thoughts and feelings, which come from our beliefs, values, experiences (and likely to some degree our genes), influence how we look at another person. Does the person remind us of someone? Do they seem to complement our personality characteristics in a certain way? Do they fit our representation of beauty? Do they share our belief system? Do they possess a characteristic that we envy? Numerous components could determine whether we find someone romantically and/or physically attractive. 

It may be helpful to see if we can recognize patterns in what draws us to others. This is especially important if we tend to choose partners who turn out to be unhealthy for us. We may also find that, as we change ourselves, who we are attracted to may change. For example, if our self-esteem improves, we may be attracted to others who are more confident. If we begin to place greater value on education, we may value someone who prioritizes educational success. Whereas gravity cannot change, we can change who we are attracted to by changing how we view ourselves, how our goals and priorities change, and by looking differently at our life experiences.

In addition, unlike gravity, attraction can fade. For example, we may begin to learn more about a particular person’s less desirable characteristics. However, one can also look at this in terms of attraction not decreasing but rather maturing. While the attraction present in a long-term relationship may not feel the same as when the relationship began, the emotional connection can become richer, and mere attraction can become love.