Are relationships supposed to be hard?

Relationships are something that human beings cannot avoid, even if someone is isolated.  At some point in our lives, we will likely have relational interactions with other human beings.  Some people can find relationships very challenging and isolate, and also lead them to question if relationships are meant to be so hard.  An important reality to recognize with this is that so many great things come with hard times.  For example, achieving a career, learning a new skill, having a child are examples of great things that come with many hard times.  Therefore, if you can accept this reality and reframe difficult times in relationships as a good thing, you will more likely get through it rather than avoiding it.  So, accepting some trials in relationships as a good thing can be a great reframe that can help you grow in your relationships. 

Another reality in relationships that is important to accept is that if there is no conflict and nothing is hard, someone in the relationship is likely submitting too much.  When two people from two different backgrounds and two different personalities come together, it is only natural that there will be some conflict.  If you can accept it as a natural part of relationships, it will hopefully be less alarming when it happens.  There are so many fun and easy times in relationships that help bring a balance, but you will be much more likely to grow with the person if you can accept the difficult times.  

Sometimes a simpler way of looking at if a relationship is too hard or not is to make a pros and cons list. Even amidst the cons, there should be more pros or at least even.  Also, as you think about that, it will be important to think about your hard measure are different filters for something is hard or not.  For example, someone who grew up in a house with some arguing might not see arguing as hard, whereas someone who did not grow up around would see arguing as hard. Try to make sure and own how you measure if something is too hard or not.