Can attachment trauma be healed?

Attachment trauma can be healed through forming new and healthy relationships with trustworthy, honest, and secure individuals. Attachment is how we relate and form bonds with others, which can be impacted negatively due to multiple reasons. It can be impacted by trauma, betrayal, and unhealthy relationships that we might engage in. We’re looking for in terms of attachment is called secure attachment, in which we feel safe and protected with others but can also remain independent. It is a style characterized by open and honest communication resulting in stable relationships in which vulnerability is shared. Secure attachment is usually formed early on in life with our primary caregivers. These relationships shape and form how we interact and relate with others into adolescence and adulthood.

Attachment Styles

Other attachment styles that are more problematic are dismissive, preoccupied, and unresolved. These arise from disordered relationships with early caregivers, be it parents, grandparents, or other authority figures. It can sometimes be easy to fall into certain patterns in relationships throughout the lifetime, especially if the relationships are based on disordered attachment styles. Relationships that are unhealthy in childhood make it more difficult to form healthy and secure attachments later on in life, thus resulting in attachment trauma. Attachment trauma can be characterized by avoiding relationships, communication issues, and even unconscious responses to the trauma suffered earlier in life. Attachment trauma can make it difficult to trust others, become vulnerable in a relationship, feel close with others, and relate to others in relationships.

How to Form New Relationships

The key to forming and investing in new relationships while dealing with attachment trauma is to take things slowly. Developing trust and open and honest communication with others is something that takes time. Knowing your desires/needs/wants in relationships is crucial, especially since that might not have been taught to you due to attachment trauma. Learning to set boundaries will keep you safe in these relationships if an unhealthy attachment does form. Engaging in relationships with others who are aware of some of these vulnerabilities can help you feel accepted, supported and reduce the stigma of some of these relationship difficulties. However, it is a process, and just like any skill, it gets better and easier over time.