Can dating a narcissist work?

Any relationship has the potential to “work,” but the question is how much are you willing to go through and how much work are you willing to put into it to make it work.  There is much discussion about how toxic people with narcissist traits can be; this is absolutely accurate.  However, this is not to say that people with this entitlement cannot learn to be considerate and understand their partner's needs.  The narcissistic personality is typically learned and developed in their childhood; any learned behaviors can also be unlearned. 

One of how you can make a relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits work is by having very firm boundaries.  It is important to be comfortable with telling your partner “no” and stand firm on this.  Someone with this sense of entitlement will try to push these boundaries until you cave and agree to whatever they are demanding from you. Still, with continued efforts in maintaining firm boundaries, they will learn that the “pushing” method will not work.  You also need to be comfortable with confronting inconsistencies; it is not uncommon that someone with narcissistic traits resorts to deception and lies to try and get their needs met.  If this happens, you will need to confront them without becoming aggressive or personalizing their behaviors.  Try to remember; their behaviors are not specifically out to harm you, but rather your needs are being dismissed because they find their needs more important.  And to a certain degree, we all have a desire to have our needs met.  Granted, a healthy relationship understands the importance of compromise and consideration of others' needs, but again, this can be learned.  With that being said, you also would benefit from clearly communicating your needs to your partner; do not shy away from expressing your desires to your partner.  Consistency is key here. A person with narcissistic traits will likely try to convince you that their needs are more important than yours, so you will need to be able to firm and calmly explain that you have needs that are necessary to be considered to make the relationship work. 

At the end of the day, you will need to consider if working with this person is worth your energy.  Sometimes we only have so much emotional energy to provide to someone else; do not overextend yourself if we have limitations.  With that being said, have a clear understanding of how much you are able and willing to tolerate.