Can marriage be saved?

Thousands of couples have lost faith in their marriage. They feel that there is no way to salvage the relationship and that too much damage. This is not always true; couples can save their marriage. To save a marriage that appears to be a lost cause, the couple must have love, effort, communication, and trust.

LOVE

For a marriage to be saved, the couple must still love each other. 

Their love is the foundation of their relationship; it is what pushed them to get married. Without it, the relationship will not heal. If one party still loves the other, but the other does not, the fight is over. The love has to be mutual. They don’t have to like each other or the other’s behaviors and choices, but love is needed for both parties to be willing to put in the effort to save the marriage. 

EFFORT

Effort can also be seen as desire; both parties have to desire to save the marriage and be willing to work. The marriage did not fall apart overnight, so it will take time, work, and effort to mend the relationship. The effort also means doing things you might not like or even agree with but will help heal your marriage in the long term. For example, each party has to own their mistakes, put their ego aside, and willingly compromise and sacrifice at times. Admittedly this can be not easy, especially when the couple does not like each other at that moment. However, effort is the one thing that can move mountains in any crumbling marriage. 

COMMUNICATION

Communication should go without saying, but most failing marriages lack constructive communication. Most couples stop communicating to avoid arguments, to preserve their spouse's feelings, or because they genuinely don’t know what to say anymore. When couples decide to get married, they feel like they can talk about anything, but after the “I Do,” something changes. This is the time for tough conversations; let the arguments happen and risk hurting each other’s feelings. The couple has to let their spouse in to see the truth. Communication allows each party to figure out if they still love the other party, feel the effort is worth it, and trust the other person. 

TRUST

Trust, the belief that the other person is reliable and honest, is so fragile. Trust is easily broken and extremely difficult to rebuild. When the trust is broken, most couples believe that it is the other person’s responsibility to re-earn the trust. However, it is also the hurt party's responsibility to choose to trust their spouse again. Many don’t realize that trust is a choice, and it starts with forgiveness. In every marriage, both parties must be willing to forgive whatever happened in the past and move forward. 

Saving a marriage can be extremely complicated and challenging. It is highly recommended to get assistance from a counselor that specializes in relationships and marriages.