Can marriage counseling help?

Conflict is a normal part of any relationship. Couples experience different levels of conflict depending on what life events they must deal with, whether managing money, raising kids, working more than one job, lack of intimacy, etc. After a time, that can take a toll on a marriage, and that is when communication starts to break down and the conflict increases.

Marriage counseling is a safe place for couples to be able to work through these conflicts together. The counselor's objective is not to point blame or finger-point who is right or who is wrong, but instead, give you tools that will allow you to increase your communication skills and work together when faced with stressful life events. The challenge of marriage counseling comes when only one person wants to go, or only one person is willing to make positive changes to help repair the relationship. Marriage counseling usually requires one meeting per week for an hour. The length of time that couples attend counseling will depend on the severity of why they started counseling in the first place. It can range anywhere from 6 sessions up to 3 months or longer. The availability of telehealth therapy allows couples a more flexible option than having to go in person.

Marriage counseling works best when both people are committed to making the necessary changes in their relationship. It takes work on both parts to repair a relationship. Therefore both people need to take accountability for their part in their marriage. Open and honest communication with each other, as well as the therapist, is also important. It can be challenging to discuss specific topics; however, if you’re not honest about everything going on in your relationship, the therapist may not be able to provide the best support or options to help you problem-solve the relationship.

There are times where a relationship or marriage can not be saved, and divorce is the best option. A therapist will never make that choice for you, as that is unethical. However, they can help you process and make the best-informed decision. In this case, the therapist can help make that process more amicable, and if children are involved, help you learn how to co-parent together. 

Marriage counseling may not work for everyone. However, it is a safe way for you and your spouse to explore your differences, find positive ways to communicate and work together and find a healthy balance in your relationship.