Do my commitment issues have to do with me, or will it take inspiration from someone worth my while?

Hi! Thanks for sharing your concern and some of the things you are going through.

The first thing I will say that this is not something you change "within yourself" but more something you need to work towards too. Perhaps, I am curious to know where you come from, your household, childhood experiences, who raised you and how, are there any childhood traumas or experiences that may be affecting the present moment. Furthermore, I would inquire to hear about your relationship history and understanding some attachment styles that might have been created due to these two variables.

The fear of committing that you bringing as your present issue is a normal fear that a lot of people go through. As mentioned before, more intensified depending on your past situations. It sounds that you are trying to understand yourself and by doing that thinking that the women that you have dated are not what you are looking for. Maybe you have not found the one and that is okay, but before thinking about that I would focus more on the underlying issue that you are facing.

The process of falling in love takes between 8 months to a year, maybe that is why you are not able to move towards a more committed point; when you are feeling a little but more into the relationship there is a fear of going deeper or further and instead of being a pursue-pursue relationship it turns to a distance-pursuer relationship, in which the more that you are pursued the more that you distance yourself from the person.

I would recommend therapy to talk about your past and heal whatever issue you have going on. As I mentioned before, understanding your past will help you understand your present better. Second of all, I would try to map out what I am looking from a relationship, what qualities are important, what is a priority for me. That would help you know what is essential for a person to have.

Fear of commitment is something that a lot of people faced, mostly because it makes you think further about the future! So no worries! Talking it out may help!