How attraction starts?

The definitions of attraction explain perfectly what is meant by it in terms of people being attracted to one another. “The act, process, or power of attracting, the action or power of drawing forth a response: an attractive quality, and a force acting mutually between particles of matter. Tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation” (Merriam-Webster). This last definition speaks to not only science and its energized particles but people to people and people to animals, nature, art, food, music, sensory experiences (like smell, color, and touch), and stories. All the areas and things people are attracted to develop this energy and is construed as a very healthy part of discovery, growing, and continuing to feel stimulation by the environment. How does attraction start? It will be assumed that this inquiry is about how people are attracted to other people.

The beginnings

If people think back to what first attracted them to their environment, these same things attract people to each other. First glances like the eyes, smile, hair, and height are the rudimentary but very natural things people notice. Followed by scent, the sound of their voice and tone, style of communication, and even speed can attract or detract. Then what is often noticed is how people express their thoughts, feelings, exhibit behaviors, and story tell. Are they funny, quiet, serious, inquisitive, charming, self-deprecating, shy, arrogant, confused, indecisive, joyful, idealistic, sarcastic? The list goes on forever! The attraction starts by connecting to something either just like them, or completely different, and typically a combination of both. Attraction goes deep and the genuineness and quality of people can be very easy to attach to whether or not it is intended to be a relationship. Friends, loved ones, parents to children, all have a natural attraction that makes the desire to spend time together real.

Timing

Attraction happens when people are open to it and that is not always the case. Many times people meet and the attraction that develops is not instantaneous because of situations that prevent that focus and consideration from happening in the first place. With many clients this kind of psychoeducation helps people to understand that sometimes it is not a question of being unattractive or not having a connection but it simply not being the right time or situation. Timing can be everything as so many people have the distractions of life preventing them from sometimes seeing the possibilities!