How can I best move on from a ended relationship?
Asked by Dan
Answered
10/30/2022
Hi Dan,
They you for reaching out. I would like to start by emphasizing that moving on after a break up can be extremely hard regardless of the reason that led to the separation. Sometimes it is difficult to know whether the split was the right decision or not. This is a completely normal feeling and response to have. It sounds like you tried to make adjustments due to the strain of being far away from your significant other and that still did not work out.
In terms of considering whether you did the right thing or not, focus on a few things. Start by considering whether you were you happy in this relationship? Did the positives in the relationship outweigh the negatives? Was the distance the only reason for the break up? Ultimately, is this something that you feel you that you both could have worked through? Prior to ending the relationship, did you discuss how you were feeling with your significant other to see if this was something you could potentially improve with some adjustments? Take a minute to explore these things and see what you are able to come up with.
Maybe in the future you can revisit the relationship since things ended amicably and perhaps the dynamics may be different after she leaves college. It definitely sounds like you miss your ex girlfriend. Perhaps there is a way that you all can continue to be friends or keep in contact that would be healthy and not a hindrance. If that would be too difficult to navigate, then focus on moving forward. Try to do things to keep yourself busy (social activities, exercising, take on a new hobby, etc.) and lean in on your support system when things seem tough. Be gentle with yourself and trust the process.
Truthfully, you are having a normal response to breaking up. Many people go through the emotions of regret and confusion about whether they should have done things differently. You will get past the feelings that come from the break up, it just takes time. Give yourself grace, be patient, again- trust the process, and love on yourself in the meantime.
