How can I learn to let go and handle pain?

Going through a breakup is a very challenging time, it can make you feel uneasy and overwhelmed. This is because your "normal" has been tampered with and now you are left having to figure our what the new normal in your life will be.  It is very common to feel scared and experience anxiety and question your self esteem. 

Most importantly you are in a situation of grieving a relationship the picture of what could of, or would have been. The stages of processing this can be complex and take time. This comes with the end result of acknowledging /accepting of the situation where it is at and moving towards identifying where/what you want.  It is important to establish daily goals with yourself about what you want to accomplish and work towards those goals. If family to go to is not an option, what are other options for seeking emotional support? Do you have friends nearby that can provide emotional support? Are you a part of any type of group /activity that you can engage in? Do you have hobbies that you can spend more time doing?  Engaging in self-care tasks and taking the time to learn about yourself can help you cope through the situation. Self care tasks can be anything that you enjoy doing without it being thought of as a chore. For example art, coloring, listening to music etc. 

Taking time to reflect and learn from the relationship is also important. Journaling about it can be very helpful.  I would also suggest to not focus on or expect apologies or closures from the other person. You mentioned your partner is asking you to change something.  It is important that you acknowledge that if you change it is because you want to change not because someone is asking you to change. The motive of change should be based on your desire to change otherwise you may resent the other person for having you change or the change may not last. Many times we become focused on receiving an apology that we may never receive. 

Overall being patient with yourself as you process this new normal in your life. Remembering that time is of most importance and not trying to rush back into a relationship. Focus on you and getting to know yourself and the person that evolved as a result of the situation you have been in.