How can i move past my abandonment and other issues?

Hi Zin, 

First of all, thank you for reaching out. It is hard to answer your question without knowing your previous relationship status and experience.  However, I will try my best to give you some food for thought and hopefully help you with asking yourself the right questions. 

It sounds like you are overwhelmed with your feelings and can't make sense of what is going on for you in your current relationship. You have said it is an abandonment issue on your part. I have a lot of questions I would like you to ask yourself. Or perhaps work with a therapist who can help with finding answers.

Where do you think that fear of abandonment comes from? Have you been abandoned before? 

What are your expectations of your partner? In this and any other relationships? What are you looking for from relationships? Do you know what are your needs you expect your partner to meet?  What are they? Are they reasonable? 

In some instances, people get into relationships with a lot of emotional baggage. When you have never learned how to meet some of your needs from within yourself you may get into a relationship subconsciously hoping your partner will "fill the gap" and provide everything that you are missing. Unfortunately, that is never the case, we cannot expect another person to take responsibility for providing what we lack emotionally. 

Another layer to that is also that those expectations are in most cases not communicated with the partner as we may not be fully aware of it ourselves hence the above questions. Realizing what your emotional expectations are will help you to understand yourself better and make your decision if they are reasonable or not. Answering that question will help you to establish if you are able to meet some of those expectations from within yourself. 

I would advise you to take a piece of paper or a notebook and start answering those questions, also sounds like the help of a qualified therapist can help you move forward and make sense of what is going on for you in your life and in this and past and possibly future relationships.