How can I over over a state of depression

I had a brake up and it seem to be affecting me... I need help to get over it .... I'm scared I might be depressed out of that ... So please help me
Asked by D. O. G
Answered
12/06/2021

Hello,

Thank you for taking time to ask this question. Break-ups can be devastating because you are not only mourning the loss of the person but also the loss of the future you thought you'd have with them. It's easy to get lost in the "what ifs" and the "should haves" these will hollow you out. Instead, it is essential to look at the situation and learn from it. This can mean both that you pursue personal growth or that you learn how to accept difficult losses.

Its important to give yourself time to grieve. You cannot rush through sadness but you can rest in the knowledge that it won't last forever. Sadness, like any emotion, comes from within you. It isn't an external force working against you. As such, it cannot overtake or attack you (even when it feels like it) instead it is there to show you that there is an unmet need. What is it that your sadness is showing you? Do you need to pour more love and support into yourself? Do you need to feel secure and safe in your own company? 

 

Acknowledge the hurt from the loss, let yourself feel what you need to feel, and then when you are ready press into meeting your own needs.

 

There is enough of you to do this, otherwise you wouldn't have asked for help. 

 

As you engage in the healing process, remember that people do not heal in straight lines. You are not losing progress or falling behind simply because you've experienced a wave of grief. It's okay, you will have moments in the day when the pain hits you hard. These moments don't last forever. You will be able to take a deep steady breath and move into it. 

 

Give yourself permission to be okay. Letting go of the hurt doesn't mean the relationship wasn't important to you or that it's "easy to get over" the person. Of course it isn't but it is necessary to heal. 

 

As you move forward, let others write their own story try not to allow this loss to keep you from being fully in the moment with others (friends family). That doesn't mean it won't get in the way at first. It probably will and that's okay. Just don't get stuck there. Continue to meet the needs your emotions are pointing out.

(MS, LPC, LCDC)