How can I overcome the trauma from my past relationship?

Hi Lara,

I'm sorry this man hurt you during a time when you needed him to support you the most.  As a man, I feel angry for you.  His actions poorly represent what a partner can be like and it frustrates me that you cannot engage freely in new relationships because of the hurt he caused you.  

And now you find yourself two years later, still hurting and avoiding relationships.  It's simply not fair, Lara. 

However, you are fighting.  You are trying!  And that is why you're asking questions on this website. 

Perhaps maybe there is a part of you that believes that you do deserve a quality relationship after all, a part of you is still willing to see if there is anyone worth the risk again. I'm here to tell you, yes!  You are worth it as well. 

A relationship has caused great harm, yet there are relationships that exist that can heal the emotional wounds you have.  That's a great line isn't it?  In reality, it is damn scary to step out in faith again and allow yourself to be vulnerable.  You may find yourself, perhaps in the near future, in a healthy relationship, but still asking "what if?" It's normal to want to avoid getting hurt again, but only you know your options and the risks.  

Remain alone?  "If I don't let anyone in, then I can't get hurt?" Sure, you could do that, but I get a feeling that you're after more in this life. 

What do you want, Lara?  What do you BELIEVE you deserve when it comes to being loved?  Only you know what you can bring to a relationship and only you can begin to take those steps towards healing. If you want to heal, you can heal. 

You are wantable, lovable, and deserving of giving yourself another chance at love.  It has taken time to gain the courage to ask for help, but now you have arrived.  It is time to do the work, time to heal. Please thank yourself for taking steps FOR YOU!    

Stay Steady,

Ranjit (Roni) Bhullar LPC